Something to make you smile

[Anita]

I work for the NHS and we have a lot of doctors whose first language isn't English and often get some very funny dictation from them. The following one had us in hysterics today:

"His feets look fine and he's had his eye photographed by the ......"

Ah yes, remember seeing that patient now - the cyclops with a dozen legs :D

[pink_heffalump]

these foreigners eh!?:P we have 2 girls and a coach at our club who arent english,one from germany once complained about a mat which wasn't completely straight sayin that it was "wanky" not wonky as you might expect!

As for the other one well sh's just got the best accent for some words, vodka in particular is a favourite! Her mum and our coach is also particuarly god for putting a foreign edge on the way things are said! all names end in "ie" as far as she seems concerned!

Emma: Emmie
sophia: sophie etc etc!!

We gotta love them mind, we'd be lost without them!

KTxXx

[Gingerheid]

You have to feel sorry for some people when you realise what could happen to you without you knowing it if you went abroad :)

I once got the reply to a question "I am batty, and my wife, she is batty also."

(I'd asked their names)

[Lucy]

Be wary of coaching if English is the second language we've had a guy along recently who just smiles and says yes to every explanation whether he understood it or not!

[DJC]

I have to say unfortunately, many Americans I saw in the last 2 weeks fitted the ignorant stereotype. The first evening our waitress managed to work out we were English. We had a bit of a conversation, and briefly said why we were here, this is our first time in America etc, and we were tired after the flight. She said:
"Oh yeah I bet, coming from the other side of the world. That must be like, what, a whole day behind?"

And then in one of the parks someone heard us and said:
"I hear you have an accent, are you from Texas, or Australia? I know it's one of the two..."

[Vivien Gourlay]

I have a couple of funny stories for when I use to work as a Dental Surgery Assistant -

Stepping into the waiting room I announced the name of patient who was to come through to be told as she walked with me to the surgery that her name was not Miss Sidebottom but Miss Sidebottem pronounced siddybottem.

Our cleaning lady, nice old dear, had cleaned the windows in the surgery earlier. She came through to say something to the Dentist who had a patient in the chair and me standing alongside with bowl in hand - on noticing the state of window being steamed up with the steam from the steriliser she announed -
"That's these windows all steamed up with condemnation again". I thought the patient was going to choke himself.

[Anita]

Heard one that made me laugh yesterday - in our Post Grad centre there is a list of Consultant and lectures they will be giving: my Consultant is listed as giving one on "Insulting Therapy". :D

[Anita]

Another one from my daughter ..... we were looking through the music on the computer that I'd edited for gym routines at the club - things like "Gremlins", "The Munsters" etc. She was asking who was doing this, who was using that and ..... "who's using Chitty Chitty Gang Bang? :D

[Gingerheid]

Oh dear! Life nowadays. Not the same:(. Has Eminem turned to doing covers of the classics? (And who was using it? Woz it da Ali G Sports Acro Club?)